The Newlymouth Game Ft. Cameron Esposito & Rhea Butcher

The Newlymouth Game Ft. Cameron Esposito & Rhea Butcher


( groans, laughs )( music playing )Welcome back and welcome
from the show “Take My Wife,” which is now streaming
on iTunes, Cameron Esposito
and Rhea Butcher. Whoo, whoo, whoo,
whoo, whoo! Hey, thanks for being here,
you two. Now, Rhett and I often act
like an old married couple. – Mm-hmm.
– And you two not only play one on your show,
but you’re one in real life. I’m not saying you’re old. Yeah, yeah. – But we are…
– Primarily… Right, and so you know
each other pretty well. Yeah, pretty good. But do you know each other
better than we know each other? – Yeah, that…
– Ooh. Is what we’re gonna
determine today. – That’s right.
– This game we’re going to play. Yeah, so we’re gonna play a
version of the “Newlywed Game,” but we are adding
an interesting element… dental expanders. Oh, goodness. Have you ever expanded
your dental? Literally not even
at the dentist, – have I used this.
– I’ve never seen these
at the dentist. Actually, I don’t think this
has ever happened
to me there either. But it’s happened
several times on this show and it’s about to
happen right now. So, typical “Newlywed” rules. Stevie’s gonna be
reading questions. One person will answer,
and then the other partner will try to figure out
what they answered. – Great.
– And if you
get it wrong, though, this is the twist, we’re gonna
have these in the whole time, so it will be
difficult to understand, but if you get it wrong,
you have to then take a shot… of water, which will be difficult. Oh, the classic–
the classic game. – Yes.
– Shots of water. – Shot of water with…
– Yes, the classic version
of the “Newlywed” game. – …with mouth thing.
– H2 whoa! Expanders in. Now, Link, we got you a slightly
bigger expander, Link. Cameron:
Actually, you look really cute. I look really good,
I think. You still can’t really
see my top teeth. What is wrong with me? How big
is your mouth, dude? This is like
all of my mouth. This is none of your mouth. No, I got a small… – the teeth part is small.
– Cameron: Yeah. The lips part’s bigger. I think I look like
Jonathan Roberts. – Let’s do this, Stevie.
– Question one, Stevie. Stevie:
Okay, Link and Rhea,
grab your whiteboards
and answer this question.
I feel like I need
to talk like a gangster.
I don’t know why. Yeah, see?The robot apocalypse
has arisen
and humans are now imprisoned
in pairs for enemy harvest.
Your partner got
to hand-select a celebrity
to be their prison buddy.What celebrity
would your partner
want to be imprisoned
with forever?
Mm. Oh, who does he want
to be imprisoned with? Yeah, who–
you’re answering for me. Who do I want to be
imprisoned with forever? But there’s so many! There’s already spit
running down my lip. Already what? Spit running down my lip. – What is it?
– I’m drooling, spit! – Spit!
– What is it? – Spit!
– Okay. Okay, he’s trying
to say “spit.” Look, if I do this
with my eyebrows, I look like a predator. ( laughter ) Oh, gosh. Okay, I’m ready.Okay, Rhett, which celebritywould you like to be
imprisoned with forever?
Whoops. Oh, no! Bad girl Rhi Rhi.What?Bad girl Rhi Rhi,
Rhianna. – Rhianna?
– I thought that was obvious. I thought you knew
that your wife was watching, so I picked
Lionel Ritchie. He’s a cool guy
to hang out with. – Oh…
– Rhianna? This is gonna be
a long game. Lionel Ritchie.Cameron, which celebritywould you like to be
imprisoned with?
I don’t know! Technically,
you’re a celebrity. – No!
– Rhea Butcher! Ugh! I said Linda Hamilton
as Sarah Conner. That’s great! She’d have so many skills! – She would help you break out!
– She’d have so many skills. She would be like…
( grunting ) Okay, we all
got it wrong, so we all gotta take shots. Okay. I’m drooling so much. I know.
We have the towels, though. Do we have to clear
the whole Dixie cup? Yeah. “Dixie cup?” Yeah, you gotta clear
the whole Dixie cup. Here we go,
three, two, one. Oh! ( all clamoring ) ( indistinct ) You remember how
to swallow, don’t you? I forgot to swallow! Oh, my God!You guys ready
for the next question?
Yeah, we’re ready,
we’re so ready.So, Rhett and Cameron,
grab the whiteboards.
There you go.And answer this:Your partner has been stolen
by evil scientists
and replaced with an
exact-to-the-molecule replica,
but the only thing
they taught the replica to say
was your partner’s most
frequently-used phrase.
What is your partner’s
most frequently-used phrase?
Oh, gosh. Oh, I feel like
I should know this. Yeah, you should know this. I feel like I don’t know this. Ugh! ( babbles ) I don’t think this is right. Oh, mine’s definitely wrong. Okay, you ready?
You got it?Okay, Link, what phrase
do you say all the time?
“What the crap?” Oh. “What the crap?” Yeah, I said,
“Oh, my goodness.” Oh, my goodness! – Oh, my goodness!
– Oh, my goodness! He does say that a lot. I don’t say,
“Oh, my goodness.” – Yeah, you do.
– I say “What the crap?” Oh, my goodness,
what the crap? I’m just gonna say
I say “literally” all the time. I don’t know, I can’t… – Literally!
– “I like baseball.” Oh, my God! Do you say,
“I like baseball? Literally never! But it’s true!
It’s not wrong. Hey, put that back in! She may not say
she likes baseball, but she really
likes that… Oh! Oh, you all
have to drink again. Oh, my gosh,
you got the water. Y’all gonna keep making a mess. I know, I just think… Just throw it down the hole,
just hock it. Gotta start swallowing
the whole thing. Let’s say, “I like baseball”
and then go. Rhea:
All right, cheers. All:
I like baseball! I like baseball! ( Link gurgles ) Ah, ah! That was a lot better. I can’t get it
down my throat to swallow! This is so much more traumatic
than I thought it would be. It really is traumatic. – Oh, you got a dangler.
– Oh! Link:
Ah!All disease has been wiped outbecause we put women
in charge worldwide.
Now we make pills
for fun, silly things.
You’d like to make a pill
that will eradicate
your least favorite habit
in your partner.
Fill in the blank:“I wish my partner
would stop blank-ing.”
Rhett:
Uh… ( humming ) – Link: Okay.
– Oh, this is not easy. What do I want you
to stop doing? Okay… got it.Okay, Rhett,what does Link
want you to stop doing?
( groans ) Link:
Are you in pain? Correcting him? That’s close, I said,
“Knowing everything.” Stop! You gotta stop
knowing everything! That counts. That’s acceptable! That’s pretty… That’s a half-point, right?You only take a half-shot
of that water.
Yeah, yeah, I feel I can.Okay, Cameron,what does Rhea
want you to stop doing?
Bossing her around. Ah! – What did you say?
– I said, “Brushing your teeth
all the time.” I love to brush my teeth. It’s really paying off
right now. You get a really good look
at those shiny teeth. – Rhett: Uh-huh.
– So we have to… you have to drink
a whole cup, we have to drink half a cup. Gosh, good luck to me. I’m just gonna drink the whole
thing, it’s easier that way. Yeah, right. Why stop short? All:
I like baseball. To baseball. A lot closer. I don’t understand
why I can’t drink! Apparently, you really rely
on your lips when you drink. That’s what I’m learning.Okay, this is
the final question.
Rhett and Cameron,
grab the whiteboards.
We suck at this.Your partner
invested in Bitcoin
really early on.And despite its recent
ups and downs,
it goes on to make your partner
a multi-billionaire,
worth two Jeff Bezoses.Nice.If your partner
became a billionaire,
what’s the first thing
they buy?
Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah, you’re gonna
get this one, I think. You better. What would I buy? How much writing
are you doing? – I’m making a scene.
– You’re writing a lot. – A vignette.
– Okay. Oh, no, so much drooling. “I’m making a–” drool. It’s so much. I’m painting
with my drool.Okay, Link, what would you buy?Mm. A jet. What? – Cameron: That’s cool.
– A jet. I said, “Nothing
’cause he’s that cheap. Ah! That’s true. Exactly, that’s why
you said “jet,” which is– you never
talked about a jet in your entire life. ‘Cause you’re never
gonna buy anything regardless of how much
money you have. I would never buy a jet, I wouldn’t buy anything. Oh, man, we’re gonna win. – Oh, boy.
– Let’s see. I am gonna say… Come on! Come on! The Los Angeles Dodgers,
Dodgers Stadium. What did you–
come on! She likes baseball! Oh, a motorcycle! A motorcycle! Two Jeff Bezoses? And I wouldn’t buy
the Los Angeles– ugh! That must be a very
special motorcycle. You got Jeff Bezos money
and all you’re doing
is buying one motorcycle. We all need to spend
more time with each other. Cameron:
Uh-huh. You know what?
Let’s stay hydrated. All right. If you wanna play baseball, you gotta stay hydrated. I’ll just do this. That’s good! Just keep the towel there
from now on. I really need the towel. I like baseball. Rhea:
I like baseball. ( Rhett groaning ) Oh, no,
I did drop it that time. I’m still going. You’re not doing it right. ( gurgles ) You gotta kick back
like a Pez dispenser. – Yeah, like a Pez dispenser.
– Like a Pez dispenser. – Okay.
– I really drank no water. We can take these out
so we can be understood now. – Oh, my God!
– Oh, gosh! Doesn’t your mouth
feel so stretched? Ah! Our desk is gonna be so clean,
thank you. How refreshing. All right, guys,
thank you so much for playing with us today. Be sure to check out
season two of “Take My Wife”
on iTunes! And make sure to tune in
this coming Monday, March 26th, where we’ll be kicking off
our Munch Madness, a week of taste tests
where we will determine the greatest snack
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