The $100 Hamburger and Tach Time: Citation Needed 6×02

The $100 Hamburger and Tach Time: Citation Needed 6×02


This is the Technical Difficulties, we are playing
Citation Needed… Carry on, Tom(!) Joining me today, he reads books y’know,
it’s Chris Joel. Now available in pill form. Everybody’s favourite Gary Brannan –
Gary Brannan. “Burn the cities. “Salt the earth so that no-nothing may ever-y
there grow ag…” Can I do that again,
because I really screwed that up? No! And the bounciest man
on the internet, Matt Gray. Hello, live studio audience! In front of me I’ve got an article from
Wikipedia, and these folks can’t see it. Every fact they get right is a point
and a ding… And there’s a special prize for particularly
good answers, which is… And today we are talking about the $100 hamburger. Whoa! Tastes crap, no beef in it. Just two bread buns. Dollars. “This seems like a waste!” The worst thing was: all ones. Well at least there’s fibre content there! I was thinking a single $100, which would
just look lousy. And now, Gary Brannan’s burger opinions. Yes. Too many things on top: s***. McDonald’s! Oh, depending on what you get, alright- Wimpy. Oh, by far the superior because they give
their prices in pence. And it comes on a plate,
like a civilised person. Wimpy comes on a plate? Wimpy’s, if you go into a Wimpy, and there’s
not many left, I’ll mark you, they come on a plate,
with like a knife and fork. Phrasing! They do, they do. Is this one of things that’s been invented
by a chef as ostensibly a publicity stunt that needs something like wagyu beef,
or something like that? Those do exist, I’m fairly sure there’s
a $1,000,000 burger with gold leaf or something out there, but this is not that. It is not actually even a hamburger. Is it the genetically grown in a petri-dish
kind of one that they did? Oh no, right now that’s a lot more expensive
than this is. Oh yes, it is, isn’t it. It’s at least, like, $200
or something like that. If it was only £100 to grow your own burger
without a cow… I was going to say, it would still be cheaper
to slaughter a cow. Is it a person from Hamburg? Oh! Or anyone with the right to vote in a township? – What?
– It is a phrase… A burger is someone who has a burgage and
therefore holds a burgage plot and has the right to vote in a town. – Really?
– Thank you very much. – There you go.
– I am learning! – Archivist fact.
– Fact. A $100 hamburger is certainly about food,
but this is slang for something you might do in general aviation. Is this… is this Elvis? Oh. You have jumped ahead in my script,
but you know what, yes, I am going to give you the point. Yes, this is the fool’s gold loaf that he- Yes. So what’s a $100 hamburger then? Before we get into the fool’s gold- Is it where someone rocks up and goes, “I’m going to get a burger, and I’m
going to go in a plane to get the burger,” and then eat the burger in the sky, and go,
“Ha, ha, ha, sky burgers.” Yes, you know what, I’m going to give you
the point there. It is basically an excuse
to use your plane and fly, to keep your hours up, “I’m going to
go get a hamburger from that place.” Wimpy! I would love to see you try and land a plane
at a Wimpy. Bowling alleys. Oh, all slippy. Also, that would be a 10,000 pence hamburger. Yes. In the environs we are talking of, in York, there is a ring road around the bowling alley. Now if you were to do that
about one in the morning, I reckon it would be quiet enough to get a
Cessna down there. Yes, but the Wimpy’s not open. S***. Elvis… I forget, I think he heard about it at a party, as Elvis would, you know, in the Jungle Room. My mum and dad went to Graceland, and I think
it can be described as ‘disappointing’. I went there a long, long while ago- It looks like a ’60s council planning officer’s
self-designed house. It looks really poor from the outside. That’s a really specific gag,
but he’s right. He is absolutely right. It does. But Elvis heard about this thing, and… Is it a loaf of bread that’s hollowed out, and it’s full of peanut butter, and jam, and
banana, and it’s fried? You have missed- it’s not banana, it is
something even worse for you than… – Jelly?
– Banana ice-cream? – Bacon!
– Oh, I forgot the bacon. It is an entire loaf. We are not talking like a small- I mean, I will give you a point- It’s not, like, a little one,
it is a full loaf, hollowed out, filled with a couple of pounds of bacon, and peanut butter, and grape jelly. So, jam, but like- Oh jam. Oh fine. Oh yes that’s fine, yes(!) Well jelly is all wobbly, it’ll sq… Well it’s not a children’s treat now,
is it(?) Roughly how many calories does the fool’s
gold loaf…? All of them. Yes. All right, Price is Right rules,
closest without going over. There’s not a number, there’s just a letter! It’s got an ‘about’ in here. And bearing in mind the bread is baked with
margarine and oil and things like that in it as well. Ten thousand. Ten thousand? I think it’s about a daily allowance. I think it is about 2,500. Fifteen thousand. Gary wins, it’s 8,000. Price is Right rules. Only barely! I’m still giving you the point. It is four days’ worth of food. – Jesus wept.
– Every evening. Because doesn’t he get everyone together,
goes to his private jet, flies four hours or something, to wherever
this place is that makes it. They have some waiting in an aircraft hangar
for him, and I assume that can’t waddle out of the
aircraft hangar at this point in time. They sit on the steps of the plane,
scoff it, and then fly home. Where do you get this? I’d like to try some of it. Ah, right. So it was made by a restaurant called the
Colorado Mine Company in Denver, Colorado. Which is quite a way away from
where they were- Yes, Memphis to Colorado. Who invents this? You can’t do that by mistake. It is not like a Bakewell pudding, you know,
or anything like that. That is genuinely someone has seen bread,
jam, bacon, peanut butter, pfft, go for it. Whatever happens, happens! That is a common American sandwich though. Not the size, quantity though. – Peanut butter and jelly-
– Isn’t it? Yes, peanut butter and jelly is a normal thing,
but the bacon’s in there as well. You are pretty much right – “taking his
private jet from Graceland, “Presley and his friends purchased 30 of them-” Whoa. You can’t open a window on that plane. That’s a long four hour flight. They didn’t turn the engines on though,
they just sat in the back and waited. Yes, they never left the airport, they invited
the pilots to join them as well. Ha, I think the pilots would be well advised
to lock the doors(!) There is also something called the
‘Elvis Sandwich’, and you got some of the ingredients
of this earlier. This is a… I have had one. Or something that claims to be one, in a
burger place vaguely near here. And it was a lot of food. Does it start with a slice of Elvis? ‘Cos the one I’ve had was banana, peanut
butter, bacon and- That’s it, you have got the ingredients. You are absolutely right. Peanut butter, bacon and banana. Oh, so that’s not as bad as it could be, then? Well, no, but erm- If you are ordering one,
don’t order the chips. You don’t need them. Don’t order bacon chips either, because
you really don’t need them(!) In a sandwich that pretty much killed Elvis? They’ve thought: how could we make this more
deadly. Again, I am going to give you a point. It’s “the sandwich that killed Elvis”. Yeah. Well not specifically one. The many sandwiches that killed Elvis. No, no, there was just one. It was at the back of the theatre that night. Just waiting. Elvis was known for a ludicrous
calorie intake. Oh, I thought he was famous for singing? I was going to say! I mean, he was famous for many things… They just found it afterwards.
Oh, he can sing(!) He could hold a tune(!) I don’t think that the massive calorie intake
got him that Vegas residency, Tom. I don’t know. Hoovering up the ‘all you can eat’ buffet,
what’s left? Oh don’t, I… All he can eat, yes! Last time I went to- it’s a shaming story
but I’m going to share it with the world, because this needs to be out there. Last time I went to an
all you can eat buffet, right- Oh boy. I had a few beforehand. I mean, there’s a picture of like a big jug
of lager appearing on the table. And it’s one of these world buffets. It’s underground, there’s no windows, you
can go in there and not be judged, and just eat whatever. You want a Yorkshire pudding with custard
and chicken tikka in it? Gonna do it, right. Can happen. I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t. They were on separate plates, that’s fine. They didn’t have any custard, they had to
use Pepto-Bismol. But there was one point later on. They have an ice cream section, and this was later in the evening, and I wanted
some ice cream, right? And I manhandled the lid open. Only afterwards I realised it should be opened
by a staff member, but you know, whatever. “Mine. Ice cream. Grrr!” Are you doing the thing where you take a plate, and then you leave the plate
and take the tray? Well, that’s… yeah! There was a point where I saw this lovely
yellow sphere there, and I was like, that’s a lovely looking
ball of lemon sorbet. It’s got a little bit of chocolate on it,
that’s exactly what I fancy right now. Popped it on my plate, and I was chased by
someone because I had picked up a
plastic ball pool ball that had chocolate on it as decoration. Stuff that looks like food near an
all-you-can-eat buffet is a recipe for disaster. Well, that was my argument! Ha, ha, hey! Thanks Matt, no-one else liked it. I’m the only one that liked that,
aren’t I? There is a reference: increasing fuel prices
mean that a Cessna now costs about
$95-130 per Hobbs hour to rent. What is a Hobbs hour? It’s got an imaginary tiger in it. Sadly, no E, but it would be good. Oh, screw that then. Flying hours? Or is it the time you are in the air, or something
like that? The time you are off the tarmac, as opposed
to fannying around getting on the runway? Yes. What might you measure that with? Hobnobs. A big tape measure…? For time? Don’t judge me, it is the way it’s always
worked for me. You should see his watch. “It’s 37 inches this afternoon.” Chronometer? Yes, what’s the chronometer called? Geoff. Swing and a miss. The clue is in the question. The Hobbs Chronometer! Yes. It is a Hobbs meter. It is a- “Yes, I have got seven Hobbs.” It is a meter that measures hours in the air, but how do you measure that? How do you rent an aircraft and work out the
time it has been flying for? Is it triggered by when the wheels go up? If you are renting the plane, you want your
Hobbs Meter to not run for as long as possible, because while it is running, then you’re paying. So what system are they using to make sure
that people don’t cheat it? Airspeed meter that only comes in above the
stall speed? Yes, you are absolutely right. And in fact, I am going to give you a point
for landing gear as well. A pressure switch attached to landing gear, or an air speed sensing vane under a wing. Either way, you make sure it is up. Does that mean they do a lot of stalling to
get some free hours out of it? Oh my God! Stall all the way down, and then fly back
up again. This is one of the things, it used to be how
long the electrical system was on. How did people get around that? Were they gliding to land? More than that. Just doing long glides? Just not turning the electrics on? How? Yes, absolutely right. Flying with the electrics off. Oh, boy! Get up in the air, get going – because once
you have started, you don’t need the electrics. Turn them off. Oh, because it’s an… engine. Yes, spend 20 minutes with no radar or- No cigarette lighter. No radio. Ahh. And no radio… Your phone’s got a battery, so it’ll keep
playing the music, it’ll be fine. But you keep getting those notifications from
Spotify, and the next time… …I’m in a mountain! Yes. There is also Tach Time. Tachometer? Yes, have a point. What’s that measuring? Distance. Tachometer. Like in a lorry. Not in this case. Not for a plane. Because plane not on motorway! – Very good, Gary!
– Unless something has gone very, very wrong. Or unless you want to rock up outside
York Megabowl one morning! Good point there. You won’t be laughing when I do that
in a 737. I will! At which point we smash-cut to five days later
and York local news, ‘Man Lands 737 at York Megabowl’. “They said I couldn’t do it!” It is the speed that the engine is rotating. Oh, is it the amount of rotations of the propeller,
or whatever? Yes. So if it, if it is designed to run at 2400rpm, you can reduce your tach time
by making the aircraft go a bit slower and a bit safer. So if you’ve been out for, say, 20 minutes
on your normal timer, and then your tach time says you have been
out for three hours’ worth, they know you have been bombing around going… I am not entirely certain that’s the noise
that a little Cessna makes, as opposed to a Spitfire. It is when he’s making that noise in it! I tell you what,
I have been on a plane with you. He just does that constantly. With the flying helmet and the mask. Yes, you get funny looks at Stansted
when he’s- As you are walking past the queue to get on,
shouting “I’m the driver!”? Driver. Yes. Which, to be fair, when you’re going down
a motorway outside York Megabowl at one in the morning- At the end of the show- Congratulations Gary, you win this one. Whay! You win a visit- I can’t believe you’re cringing and you
wrote it. You win a visit to a late night
electrically-boosted bathing spray, run by a member of boy band Another Level. It is Dane Bowers After Hours Power Showers- F***! You try writing a description for ‘shower’
that doesn’t include the word ‘shower’. Bathing spray! With that we say thank you to Chris Joel. Bye, everybody. To Gary Brannan. To Matt Gray. I’ve been Tom Scott, we’ll see you next time.