Pink or Consequences | Pink Panther and Pals

Pink or Consequences | Pink Panther and Pals


(cheers and applause) WELCOME TO THE SUPER,
MEGA-HYPER GAME SHOW! WHO’S GONNA PLAY
OUR GAME TODAY? YOU, THAT’S WHO!
THAT’S RIGHT. COME ON DOWN. (applause) YES, YOU! THIS IS YOUR
LUCKY DAY! I SAID THIS IS
YOUR LUCKY DAY. NOW COME ON DOWN. HEY, THANKS FOR
POPPING BY! (fizzing) BUT IF YOU QUIT NOW
TO FINISH YOUR
TASTY BEVERAGE, THEN WHO WILL WIN
OUR GRAND PRIZE? WELL, CHUCK,
OUR WINNER TODAY
WILL RECEIVE A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF
PICKLEICIOUS PICKLE
POWER EXTREME, THE DELICIOUS
NUTRITIOUS POWER DRINK THAT WILL GIVE YOU
EXTREME VITALITY, POWERFUL ENERGY,
AND JUST A TOUCH
OF NAUSEA. YES, PICKLE POWER
WITH ITS MULTITUDE
OF USES WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE
A DREAM COME TRUE. (spurt) WHY NOT RELAX
AND ENJOY A GLASS WHILE PICKLE POWER EXTREME HANDLES ALL OF YOUR
TOUGH CLEANING CHORES? PICKLE POWER EXTREME,
IT’S PICKLEICIOUS. AVAILABLE AT ALL
REPUTABLE HARDWARE STORES. MAY CAUSE WARTS, MOLES,
BALDING, FLEAS, COOTIES, AND SHOULD NOT BE
TAKEN WITH FOOD. ENJOY PICKLE POWER EXTREME
AT YOUR OWN RISK. (squeals) CHUCK? I TAKE IT YOU’RE IN. GOOD! OH,
I ALMOST FORGOT. YOU’LL BE
GOING UP AGAINST… YOU KNOW HIM,
YOU MOCK HIM… IT’S EL DESTRUCTO! AND HIS MUCH
BRIGHTER SIDEKICK
EL DESTRUCTO, JR. (applause) LET’S PLAY. ROUND ONE. MANY GREAT SCHOLARS
HAVE BEEN PUZZLED BY THIS FAMOUS CONUNDRUM. ONE PLUS ONE
EQUALS WHAT? TAKE YOUR TIME,
CONTESTANTS. THIS IS A
TRICKY QUESTION. (laughs) EL DESTRUCTO
RINGS IN FIRST. WHAT IS
YOUR ANSWER, EL? (scrawling and murmuring) OH, NO, THAT IS
JUST SO WRONG. IT’S SLIME TIME! I LOVE THIS GAME. ROUND TWO: SUMO MADNESS! TO ADVANCE TO
THE NEXT ROUND, YOU MUST REMOVE
YOUR OPPONENT
FROM THAT PLATFORM. (air horn blows) AFTER YEARS OF TRAINING, EL DESTRUCTO’S BODY
HAS BECOME A
FINELY-TUNED MACHINE. JUST LOOK AT THOSE HANDS! DESIGNED TO DISTRACT
AND CONFUSE
HIS OPPONENT, HE CAREFULLY MOVES
IN TO DELIVER THE FINAL– OH, WAIT! WE’VE NEVER SEEN
THIS ONE BEFORE. THAT IS QUITE A FALL. (splat) OUCH, WHAT AN UPSET. ROUND THREE: PUGIL STICK BATTLERAMA! OUR CONTESTANT
MUST STAY ON
HIS TOWER TO ADVANCE TO
THE NEXT ROUND. (electronic crackle) EL DESTRUCTO
WASTES NO TIME. LOOK AT THAT
COMBAT-TESTED
PRECISION. WHAT TECHNIQUE. WHAT STYLE. OUR CONTESTANT
SHOULD BE GIVING UP
RIGHT ABOUT NOW. OH, THAT CAME
OUT OF NOWHERE! ROUND FOUR. TREADMILL MAYHEM! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
MAKE IT TO THE
FINISH LINE ON A TRICYCLE
TO COMPLETE THE TASK. OH, AND WATCH OUT
FOR EL DESTRUCTO
AND EL DESTRUCTO, JR. (laughing) (air horn blows) THERE HE GOES,
AND THERE GOES
EL DESTRUCTO. THAT E-Z CHAIR’S
NOT GONNA MAKE
HIS LIFE ANY EASIER. AND HE BETTER
NOT START FEELING
TOO SAFE. EL DESTRUCTO
WANTS TO TIRE
THIS GUY OUT. AND HE’S NOT JUST
CLOWNING AROUND. HE’S AL-MOOSED
DONE HIM IN. THIS IS NOT
THE TIME TO BE
TOO PICKY, FOLKS. (laughs deliriously) SOMEONE PLEASE
STOP ME! NO, SERIOUSLY,
STOP ME! (springs) (cheers and applause) WELL, WELL, OUR CONTESTANT
SURE MADE SHORT WORK OUT OF THIS
OBSTACLE COURSE. BUT WAIT, EL DESTRUCTO
HAS ONE MORE TRICK
UP HIS SLEEVE: AN ELEPHANT TOSS. OR SHOULD I SAY
AN ELEPHANT DROP? OUCH. ROUND FIVE. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE THE FIRST
TO EVER MAKE IT
THIS FAR! BUT ARE YOU
READY FOR THE
FINAL CHALLENGE? THE GAUNTLET! (audience gasps) (metallic clank) HA HA HA HA! (gulp) READY? GOOD! GO, GO, GO! LET’S SEE HOW
HE FARES AGAINST
THE COLLOSAL ROBOBASHER! WITH EL DESTRUCTO, JR.
IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT, I WOULDN’T WANT
TO BE IN THE
CHALLENGER’S SHOES. FOR THOSE WITH
WEAK STOMACHS, NOW WOULD BE
A GOOD TIME
TO TURN AWAY. THIS IS ABOUT
TO GET UGLY. (explosion) (mechanical whirring) IT LOOKS LIKE
IT’S ALL OVER FOR OUR
COURAGEOUS CHALLENGER. BUT WAIT, IT’S THE OLD
CRAYON DUMMY TRICK! VERY CLEVER! THE CHALLENGER
HAS MADE IT
THIS FAR ON LUCK, BUT IT WILL TAKE
MORE THAN LUCK
FOR HIM TO GET PAST THE POOL OF PAIN. IT WILL TAKE GUMBALLS. GUMBALLS? HERE’S JUNIOR! HE’S GONNA WISH THAT
HE STAYED WITH THOSE
MASTICATING CROCS NOW THAT EL DESTRUCTO
HAS HIM IN THE CROSSHAIRS OF HIS BASKETBALL CANNON. (canon firing) DESTRUCTO IS SHOWING
NO MERCY TONIGHT. HE’S IN THE LANE… AND DRIVING
FOR THE BASKET. AND HERE’S JUNIOR
FOR THE ASSIST. (steam hisses) (laughs) THAT’S IT!
I CAN’T LOOK! (laughing) IT’S ALL OVER NOW
FOR OUR CHALLENGER. (cackling) ALL THOSE DREAMS
OF PICKLEADE NOW DASHED IN
THE ARENA OF ANGUISH. (alarm beeping) OH, THE HUMANITY! WHAT? JUNIOR SEEMS TO
HAVE LOST POWER
TO THE SUIT. I THOUGHT I TOLD HIM
TO PLUG THAT THING
IN LAST NIGHT. (cheers and applause) WHAT’S THIS? (bell dings) UH-OH, THE TARGET’S
BEEN HIT. NO ONE HAS EVER HIT
THE TARGET BEFORE! YOU’VE WON! (cheers and applause) I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WON. THAT’S NOT SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN. WE SHOULD GET THAT FIXED. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
SOMEONE WOULD REALLY WIN? (wheels squeaking) (gulping) NO PICKLES WERE HARMED
DURING THE MAKING
OF THIS SHOW. (squeaking) (rattling) AH, THIS IS GOOD. I’M-A CALL IT
SUMMER IN THE SAVANNAH. OR SAVANNAH IN THE SUMMER. SOMETHING LIKE THAT. HEY, YOU THINK
I CAN TAKE A BREAK? A BREAK? YOU SEE ME
TAKING A BREAK? I’M TRYING TO PAINT
WHILE THE SUN IS UP, MAN! AW, COME ON, ELI. I WAS JUST KIDDING. YOU GOTTA LIGHTEN UP. THAT ANT’S ABOUT
TO TAKE A BREAK– A LUNCH BREAK
IN MY STOMACH. HEY, AARDVARK,
GET OUT OF
MY LANDSCAPE, MAN! I CAN’T CREATE
A MASTERPIECE WITH YOUR BIG,
UGLY EARS STICKIN’ OUT
ALL OVER
THE PLACE. I DON’T KNOW
WHAT YOU’RE
TALKIN’ ABOUT. I’M A ROCK. I’M NOT TALKIN’
ABOUT YOUR HEAD! I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT
YOUR EARS! NOW MOVE IT! HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS ME? OH, YOU MEAN
BESIDES THE LONG SNOUT, LAME DISGUISE,
AND HEAVY BREATHING? IT’S SIMPLE, MAN–
YOU’RE BLUE! BLUE? BLUER THAN BLUE, AARDVARK.
YOU’RE THE BLUEST. YOU STAND OUT
LIKE A GRAPE
ON A PILLOW. EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU. EVERYBODY.
CAN’T YOU SEE HIM?
LOOK AT HIM. YEAH, WELL,
BLUE OR NOT, I’M CLOSE ENOUGH
TO CATCH YOU. OHH! OOH! MAYBE HE’LL LOOK GOOD
IN HOT PINK. OHH! (alarm ringing) OOOH! (bubbling) HEY, WHERE’D
ALL THE WATER GO? (water sloshing) BROWN SQUIRREL,
GREEN FROG, STRIPED ZEBRA,
GRAY OWL. THAT’S IT! FIRST, I WILL
CAMOUFLAGE MYSELF
AS A ZEBRA. THEN I WILL
SNEAK THROUGH
THE JUNGLE, AND THEN I WILL CATCH
THAT ANT! (sloshing) (squeak, pop) YOU KNOW,
I MAKE THESE
STRIPES LOOK GOOD. OH, BROTHER. OH, LOOK,
A SOCCER BALL. WITH SOME
CRAZY STRIPES. HEY, ELI,
TIME TO KICK
A FIELD GOAL. (rumbling) (screeching) OW! OOH! OW! THIS IS WHY
I HATE TO FLY. TOO MUCH TURBULENCE! (crashing) OOH! OW! OHH! NOW THAT WAS
HUMILIATE–. (hoofs pounding) AND SO WAS THAT. UHH. MAMA? MAMA! I AM NOT YOUR MAMA,
YOUR SISTER,
OR YOUR BROTHER. NOW LET ME GO! (thud) (stretch, pop) MAMA? OKAY, NOW, SONNY, I THINK YOUR STAMPEDE
WENT THAT WAY, AND I GOTTA GO
THIS WAY TO
CATCH THAT ANT. HYUH! MAMA. OH, BOY. WHEE! NOW THAT SHOULD DO IT. (futuristic beeping) (giggling) (explosion) OH, A METEOR. UH-OH. OOF! (giggling) MAMA! NOW, DON’T STOP
SWINGING TILL YOU
GET CANDY. OOF! OOH! NO, WAIT! STOP! OHH! (crash) MAMA? (cracking) (slurp) MAMA! (clattering) OKAY, THERE,
HOLD THAT.
THAT’S IT. (gasps) (high voice)
YOOHOO! ANT! COULD YOU
PAINT MY BABY? YOUR BABY? YOU’RE A ZEBRA? DON’T I LOOK
LIKE A ZEBRA? OKAY, ZEBRA, YOU CAN PUT
YOUR BABY
OVER THERE. AND, YOU ZEBRA,
CAN WATCH FROM OVER– HERE? NEXT TO YOU? CLOSE?
REALLY, REALLY CLOSE? I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. OKAY, STAND BACK. A LITTLE MORE. A LITTLE MORE. A LITTLE MORE. OKAY, PERFECT. GREAT. NOW HOW
AM I SUPPOSED
TO EAT THAT ANT FROM UP HERE
ON THIS LION? LION?! (yawns) HEY, WHATDDYA KNOW? I WAS JUST
DREAMING ABOUT ORDERING OUT FOR
A LARGE ZEBRA PIZZA. NOPE, NOPE,
I’M NOT A ZEBRA. I’VE NEVER BEEN A ZEBRA. I DON’T EVEN KNOW
ANY ZEBRAS. EXCEPT FOR HIM. (roars) OVER HERE. OKAY, THIS SHOULD
BE MUCH BETTER. NOW, A LITTLE MORE
TO THE RIGHT. A LITTLE MORE. THAT’S IT. OOPS!
JUST ONE MORE ITSY– WHOA. I KNOW
WHAT YOU’RE TRYING
TO PULL, ANT, BUT IT AIN’T
GONNA WORK. (high voice) OH.
OH, I MEAN, HOW’S THIS? (stifling sneeze)
AH, AH, AH, AH, AH… (trumpets) HEY, YOU LOOK
LIKE AARDVARKS. HEY, LOOK,
IT’S AARDVARK. MAMA? (crying) AARDVARK, I KNEW
IT WAS YOU! SHAME ON YOU, PRETENDING TO BE
THAT ZEBRA’S MAMA, JUST SO YOU
CAN EAT ME? I DIDN’T, UH,
HE JUST– HE JUST–AH, JEESH. WELL, YOU BETTER
MAKE THIS BABY SMILE BEFORE I FIND
HIS REAL MAMA. (horns and percussion) (sobbing) (inhaling) (crying) WELL, AARDVARKY,
I’M WAITIN’. (air releases) (laughing) AARDVARK RIDES. HOW COULD YOU
EVER COME UP
WITH SUCH AN IDEA? OH, IT WASN’T
JUST MY IDEA. THE AARDVARK LOVE CHILDREN. I THINK I’LL CALL
THIS MASTERPIECE ANT’S BIG DAY
ON THE SAVANNAH. I LIKE THAT. (organ playing
Pink Panther theme) ♪ ♪ (cheers and applause) HMM. MM! (cheers and applause) HA HA HA! MWAH. MWAH.
MWAH. MWAH.
MWAH. MWAH. MWAH. HMM? HMM HMM! HMM! (grunting) UHH! (gasping) (grunting) (thud) OHH! (grunting) UHH! (whimpers) DOH! (crash) (rollers clanking) (murmuring) OOOOH! (sheepish laugh) UHH! (grunting) (grumbles) (sheepish laugh) (growls) (whimpering) HYUH! AH! AH! (clucking softly) (chuckles deviously) (imitating chicken clucking) (crows) (worried grunt) (sheepish laugh) (growling) (angry clucking) (panicked clucking) (laughing) (screams) (devious chuckle) (clucking) (crows weakly) (cheers and applause) (gasps) HMM? (yells angrily) (weak clucking) (bell dings) (dinging) HUH? (jazzy elevator music) ♪ ♪ (bell dings) (cackling) WHOA OH! (laughing) HUH? HA HA! AHH. (giggling) (cackling) MWAH! HUH? (growling) (blubbing) (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) (crash) (squeaking) (clanging) (cheers and applause) (Pink Panther theme) ♪ ♪