Chappelle’s Show – Dave on MTV’s “Cribs”

Chappelle’s Show – Dave on MTV’s “Cribs”


WHAT’S UP, MTV? COME ON IN,
YOU BROKE (BLEEP). SEE HOW WE LIVIN’. AH–AH. WHAT YOU’RE STEPPING ON
IS A MARBLE FOYER THAT WAS CUT OUT OF
NONE OTHER THAN SPACE MOUNTAIN. VERY RARE. YOU LIKE THIS COAT? WHITE PANDA. HULK HOGAN CHOKED ONE OUT FOR ME
IN CHINA FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT’S REVERSIBLE. THIS SIDE IS BALD EAGLE. LOOK AT MY CHANDELIER. IT’S $2 MILLION. IT’S MADE OUT
OF EXPENSIVE CHICKEN DINNERS I’VE EATEN OVER THE YEARS
FROM BALLER-ASS RESTAURANTS. COME WITH ME. HA! YOU’LL NOTICE HERE,
THESE ARE SOME AFRICAN STATUES. I DON’T REALLY FUCK WITH AFRICA, ‘CAUSE PEOPLE
ARE STARVING TO DEATH, AND THAT’S NOT BALLER TO ME. COME ON, MOTHER(BEEP) .
KEEP UP. NOW IT’S TIME TO SEE
MY SHOE COLLECTION. YOU KNOW BALLERS
LOVE NICE SHOES. EVERYBODY GOT THEY DUNKS
AND THEY JORDS OR WHATEVER IT IS THEY WEARING, BUT, SEE,
I LIKE TO CUT THE MIDDLEMAN. (BLEEP) SHOE CLOSET; I GOT MY OWN SWEATSHOP, NIGGA. GODDAMN!
[laughs] I GOT THESE BITCHES
WORKING 16 HOURS STRAIGHT. – [yelling in native language] [hissing] THE HEART OF EVERY HOUSE
IS THE KITCHEN, RIGHT? WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY? YOU’RE A FAN OF ARCHEOLOGY? RIGHT HERE ON THE BOTTOM SHELF, YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE THIS
AS A TYRANNOSAURUS REX EGG. THERE’S ONLY TWO OF THESE
LEFT IN THE WORLD. EACH OF THESE BITCHES IS
4 MILLION YEARS OLD APIECE, SON. GODDAMN. RARE.
VERY HARD TO FIND. AND I HAPPEN TO HAVE
BOTH OF ‘EM. GOOD GOD!
WHOO-EEE, THAT SMELL WILD!